Sassy Sexy Shapely

I’ve known for a long time that I eat when I’m sad.  Of course, I eat when I’m anxious, when I’m happy, when I’m bored… pretty much whenever.  For me, the urge to eat is a constant, but it gets stronger depending on my mood.  And, I’m not alone.

According to a study reported on Yahoo!’s Shine website, moviegoers who were sad while watching a dramatic movie ate more popcorn than those who didn’t respond as negatively to the film.  

“Moods have a powerful influence on our eating habits; they can cause us to seek out specific foods, and unconsciously eat more, and we’re more likely to eat comfort foods when happy than sad or depressed. It’s important to be aware your eating IS affected by your mood, so if you’re trying to lose that last 5 lbs, go to a happy movie — you’ll eat less popcorn!”

So if you want to drop a few pounds, try to stay in that “happy place” as much as possible.  J

Yesterday, I gave a website presentation at a trade association luncheon.  As the luncheon wrapped up, one of the attendees approached me and asked, “Are you an athlete?”  I was stunned.  I looked at him curiously and said, “No.”  He commented that my arms were very muscular and that I must work out a lot.  The president of the association hugged me and said, “I’ve been hitting on her all afternoon.”  The attendee, who was apparently a friend of the president, said, “But you’re married, and I’m not.”

I grinned all the way back to the office.  How fabulous that someone noticed my arms and complimented my muscularity!  I have to admit that it’s not the first time; friends down at my BF’s and my favorite bar have said something to me before.  But, this was a complete stranger, and the comment came entirely out of the blue.  It really boosted my mood because I often worry about my arms.  They are, indeed, muscular, but I suffer from the batwing problem that many formerly fat people have to deal with.  It’s not horrendous, but it’s obvious to me… to the point that I am sometimes self-conscious when I wear sleeveless tops.  This made me feel great, extra proud of all my efforts to stay in shape.

And, to think someone thought that *I* was an athlete??  Wow!  I have been the total opposite of an athlete for most of my life, so it’s practically inconceivable to me that someone would view me as such.  Sweet!!

Food critics have to work extra hard to do their jobs without packing on the pounds. Gee, that’s too bad.  Free gourmet meals are tough to take.  What a rough job, right?!  Well, actually it is

Granted, “…it’s one thing to get your calories from lobster tails poached in butter or a delicate chocolate soufflé and quite another to get them from sodas and fast-food burgers.”  But calories are still calories, and a critic can consume upwards of 4,000 of ‘em in one sitting if they eat everything they’re served.  Do that on a regular basis, and these critics are going to have trouble fitting through the doors of the next restaurant.

What do these intrepid gastronomic investigators do to keep themselves at a reasonable size and in shape?  For one thing, they eat very lightly when they’re not working.  They also exercise as much as possible.  Even more important, they don’t eat everything they’re given.  

One critic notes, “My saving grace in this profession is that you have to try everything, but you don’t have to finish it. Doggie bags are my lifesaver.”

Actually, that’s not a bad strategy for the rest of us.  Take a few bites and bring the rest home.  Thankfully, we don’t need to do the job to learn the tricks of the trade.

This weekend was difficult, so difficult I didn’t know what to write.  My weight has been hovering between three and five pounds up, and this weekend, it really got me down… really, really down… hide-my-head-in-the-sand-forever down.  I was uninspired, couldn’t come up with a “bright” side, couldn’t find or think of anything positive to post.  Since many of my friends read this blog, I am hesitant to post anything too negative.  So, I didn’t post.

Interestingly enough, it was Barnes & Noble that helped me raise my head to the sunshine again.  My BF and I made a visit on a balmy evening, and there on a table near the front was “The Day I Ate Whatever I Wanted: And Other Small Acts of Liberation” by Elizabeth Berg.  The title chapter is first, and it’s great.  The main character decides she’s going to eat whatever she wants for a day, and she takes us on that journey.  After breakfast at a donut shop, lunch of a juicy burger, salty fries and a creamy shake at another cafe, and dessert at yet another eatery, she says:

“By now I was feeling the shame but also defiance.  Like here, I’m carrying the banner for all of you who cut off a little piece wanting a big one, who spend a good third of your waking hours feeling bad about your desires…”

“A good third of your waking hours feeling bad about your desires…” So, so, so true!  I am fighting what I want A-L-L D-A-Y L-O-N-G.  It is exhausting!  Reining those urges and impulses takes a tremendously tiring effort.  And, it’s so frequently disappointing.  If I could lay back at the end of the day and enjoy 30 minutes of genuine self-congratulation and satisfaction, it might be worth it.  Instead, I lament the tiny failures, the lapses in control.

There’s more to this gem of an essay, and nearly all of it suits me to a tee.  I highly recommend picking it up.  I am looking forward to the “other small acts liberation” in upcoming chapters.  It’s nice to have a “safe” outlet for those undesirable desires of mine… nice to be able to read about people who are not staying in their boxes, doing the right thing.  I don’t want to throw my lifestyle change out the window (usually), but I would like to be a bit freer.  Maybe this inspirational book will help.  Actually, it already has.

No, I’m not talking about romantic preferences here; I’m talking about “non mainstream” food and/or philosophical lifestyles. Sometimes they are the same thing. Take veganism, for instance.

The response to the new book Quantum Wellness has prompted me to consider buying it… and consider adopting a vegan diet plan, at least for 21 days like Oprah.

Being on a fiscal diet as well as a physical one has made articles about extreme anti-consumerism very interesting to me. Most recently, the article “For frugalists, bargain hunting is a lifestyle” caught – and held – my attention.

We tend to accept the status quo: what we see on TV, what our friends and co-workers are doing, what’s presented to us at the supermarket. It’s rare that most of us venture outside the norm and try something different. I did that when I swapped my office chair for a ball, and it still draws comments, questions and sometimes mockery today. I also get raised eyebrows when I talk about my stair workout. Sweating during the workday seems nutty to some. And these things aren’t that far off the radar.

Veganism is becoming more commonplace, particularly with the rise in popularity of food stores like Whole Foods Market and Trader Joe’s. These stores make it easier to live the lifestyle by offering pre-packaged items that meet all the criteria. I think it’d be easier for me to follow a vegan diet than it would a raw one. I’ve gotten more comfortable with cooking than I was before, so the recipes seem less daunting to me now.

As far as the anti-consumerism/frugal living ideas go, I haven’t worked up the nerve to try dumpster diving, especially for food. I want to do it, though, at least once… just to say I’ve given it a go. I’ve always believed that we should try most things once in our lives, if only to broaden our experiential horizons. Plus, I’d like someday to be able to live as inexpensively – but as richly – as possible, and if this is a way to achieve that goal, I want to explore it.

I have benefited from hand-me-downs including exercise shorts, a suede jacket, dresses, handbags and shoes. I never turn down a secondhand item that’s offered to me. Even if I don’t use it for the intended purpose, I can always find something else to do with it. One used purse I was given became an art project. I’ve sold other items at garage and yard sales. It feels good to recycle things while enjoying a “new” item that I might not have been able to afford myself.

Sometimes the fiscal and the physical goals work against each other, like when you’re spending extra dollars on organic produce at a store across town. With some planning, though, I think you can accomplish both goals successfully.

It’s food for thought… literally and figuratively! J

Yesterday was one of those extremely rare occurences: a perfect eating day.  I stuck exactly to my calorie goal and ate 100% clean, even with stopping briefly at our favorite bar after work and even with my BF taking me out to dinner.  This happens VERY infrequently; 99.9% of the time, I do not achieve my diet goals exactly as I’ve set them.  There’s that golden 0.1% of the time, though, when something miraculous happens, and I’m able to do it just right.  Yes, yesterday was one of those days, and thinking of it makes me smile.

Today, however, was not one of those days.  It was a more typical day, a “pretty good” day.  I *mostly* achieved my goals today, but I wasn’t perfect.  I am always vaguely disappointed by these days.  There’s a subtle feeling that I’ve let myself down.  I remind myself that, for example, I fit in my 15 sets stairs despite an incredibly busy day, that I ate quality, nutritious food when I really wanted a greasy burger with salty fries, that I stopped myself from gorging when I got home with a voracious appetite.  But then a movie trailer featuring Angelina Jolie flashes on the TV screen, and my flaws come soaring to the forefront, flaws that it seems like I could fix if worked hard enough.  I am discouraged by my inability to make myself the absolute best I can be. 

So, I comfort myself with the thought that tomorrow is another day, another opportunity to get it exactly right, to achieve my goals perfectly, to be strong enough to resist the urge to veer off course.  Tomorrow may very well be one of those wonderful rare occurences, and that possibility sustains me, gives me hope that, if I just keep at it, if I don’t give up, I can do it.

I’m not the only one who loves peanut butter.  In fact, I think doxiegirl1 likes it more than I do!  It’s good to know I’m not alone in my pb obsession.  The difference, though, is that I don’t normally keep it in the house.  Historically, those jars of nutty goodness have not been safe anywhere near me and a spoon.  After my PB&J party this weekend, I have extra jars of Creamy and Crunchy in the pantry.  I’ve been pleasantly surprised that I haven’t gone crazy and eaten them all up.

I typically think of myself as not having the remotest discipline when it comes to tasty treats.  But, there have been a few occasions like this where I’ve been tested, and I’ve passed with flying colors.  For example, when I bought the M&Ms for my art project.  Yup… I had 45 packages of M&Ms in the house and managed to eat only about half a package.  They were here overnight, too!  There was plenty of opportunity to go crazy; yet, I didn’t.  The peanut butter is another example.  A stock of ZBars is yet another example. 

I tend to focus, as most of us do, on the negatives, on what needs to be improved.  There’s always something I could do better, more completely and correctly.  But, every now and then, I need to remember that I make good choices on a regular basis.  I couldn’t have dropped 117 pounds without doing a few things right.  It’s important to continue to grow and become the best I can be, but it’s important to reflect on where I’ve come from and celebrate the accomplishments.

Note to self: take some time to appreciate and then get back to the job at hand.

 Today is my birthday.  As many of us do when a birthday arrives, I’ve been thinking about where I am in my life, at this age.  Excitingly enough, my life is the best it’s ever been.

• I’m the smallest/lightest I’ve ever been as an adult, wearing a size 4/6.
• I’m in the best shape I’ve ever been in, getting in four to six days of cardio and two sessions of weight training consistently every week.

Even though it makes sense to list these things first because of the blog’s subject, it still seems like I’m giving them too much importance.  But, the fact is, they are important.  For me, losing weight and exercising has not been about vanity, although appearance has played a role.  These accomplishments are the result of me taking charge of my health and wellbeing… watching the physical deterioration of people I loved and deciding to do everything I could to keep that from happening to me.  They represent years - literally, years - of persistence and commitment through really tough personal challenges.  They represent starting over again, time and after time, because I was unwilling to give up in spite of how hard it was… and how hard it continues to be.  This says a lot about how I feel about myself and my ability to stick to it, whatever “it’ may be. 

• I have wonderful boyfriend to share my life with.

Wow!  This truly is incredible.  As my marriage went south, I began to doubt that a quality relationship was in the cards for me.  The divorce and subsequent dating misadventures reinforced the doubt.  And, yet, here I am, a year and a half into an amazing experience that’s blossoming into a genuine partnership.  We had some ups and downs at the beginning, but we overcame those to start again with an appreciation for what we both bring to the table.  We continue to get better as we go along.  It’s beyond cool.

• I have a terrific job that is intense, exhausting and exhilarating all at the same time.

My new gig has taken me in an unexpected direction and is a daily learning experience.  Plus, I am finally back to the salary level I was before I relocated here, actually a little bit more.  Not to mention the excellent retirement benefits.  Woohoo!

• I remain blessed with a fabulous family and fantastic friends.
• I am the proud of owner of The Best Cat on the Planet.
• I live in a spacious condo which I’ve been able to fill with my own original artwork. Even better, it’s on the second floor, so I get at least an additional set of stairs in every day! 

Happy Birthday to me, and a giant “thank you” for all the blessings I enjoy every day!

   These funky felt cuties were too adorable not to share, even though they have nothing whatsoever to do with diet and exercise.  They were only $1 each at Target.  Hooray!  I have been looking for colorful storage containers for my office/craft room, and these were a definite buy the minute I laid eyes on them.  They make me smile and will brighten my work space.

The other day, I decided to do further research on the raw diet by perusing the cookbooks available at my local Barnes & Noble.  It was an interesting experience.  The photos in “Raw Food/Real World” are stunning, and Matthew Kenney and Sarma Melngailis seem like the uber couple: beautiful to look at, super successful, super healthy.  I really enjoyed thumbing through their book, but I was overwhelmed.

In fact, I was overwhelmed by all the cookbooks I looked at.  The idea of sprouting something for several hours and then dehydrating for several more seemed completely undoable.  I was strangely disappointed in myself for being overwhelmed.  The descriptions of the energizing life force that comes from raw food were compelling, and it was discouraging to think that I don’t have enough gumption to spend the time needed to take advantage of such wonderfulness.

One of the keys to weight loss success is finding a plan that fits your life.  If you don’t like the food, if there’s too much prep involved to fit your schedule, etc., you’re not going to stick with it, and sticking with it is the only way to reach your goal.  I have been living this principle for 5 1/2 years, and yet I still want to be the uber girl myself: creating fabulously complex food that’s fabulously healthy, radiating vitality everywhere I go.

Oh well.  I’m doing all right, and as Kristen of Kristen’s Raw commented to me a while back, I am incorporating raw foods where it works for my lifestyle.  That’s okay for now.  In the meantime, I’ll continue my research into raw living and see if I can find some simpler ways to add more raw stuff to my diet.