I’m Not Alone

If there’s one thing I’m learning from reading other health and fitness blogs, it’s that we all have bad days… or bad spells (which can be a few days or a month). I know this intellectually, but sometimes I still feel like I’m the only one who can’t seem to stick to the goals I’ve set for myself.

My frustration with myself was a hot topic last night at dinner with a girlfriend. While we got caught up over miso soup and sushi, I shared that I was frequently disappointed by my inability to achieve my new, lower daily calorie limit.

At least I know that I’m not alone in struggling to stay on course. A recent post by Eat to Live relates that she’s faced some challenges in her effort to go completely vegan.

“I’ve found a couple weaknesses in my trek to full-fledged Veganism. Panera makes really great bagels. I’m very fond of the Cinnamon Crunch one but it’s made with eggs. And I still love the Blueberry Coffee Cake and Banana Nut Loaf from Starbuck’s but they contain eggs, too. I’m not sure how to get past these cravings and/or desires to pick up one of these pastries when ordering my beverages.”

Munchkin Land recently told us, “This has just been a very off week!  In a lot of ways.  And I’ve been so tired.  But I started today with a renewed attitude.  I’m ready to eat healthier again.  I feel so much better when I do.  And now, when I have lapses, they only last a week or so.  Much better than in the past.  I get it this time, I do!”

Munchkin Land makes a great point about the length of her lapses being shorter. I’ve been doing this so long now that a two-pound weight gain no longer terrifies me. I know I’ll be back on track in a day or so.

Maybe the idea is not to achieve absolute perfection in our diet-and-exercise goals but instead to limit the amount of time we’re off the wagon. At least I know that when I do tumble to the ground, I’ve got company for the short time I’m in the dirt! J

When in Doubt, Throw it Out

Earlier this week, my mum gave into an ice cream craving and wanted to throw out the remainder of the pint she had in the freezer.  But, she didn’t want to waste the money.  She felt she needed to eat the ice cream in order to justify the money she’d spent.

I’ve used this rather circular logic myself on one or two occasions.  The reality is that once the money’s spent, it’s a moot point.  You can’t get that money back by eating the food.  You really can only make the situation worse consuming it.  Now, you’ve not only wasted the money; you’ve unnecessarily added to your calories for the day or eaten a food you’re trying to keep out of your diet. 

So, if you find yourself with food in the house that you know is bad for you, just throw it out.  Don’t give it another thought; toss it.  Your waistline will thank you.  If you want to save money, don’t buy it in the first place.  Then, your bank account will thank you, too.

She Don’t Tell Me To

Montgomery Gentry, a rockin’ country band, has a great song called “She Don’t Tell Me To“.  The song talks about how a man does nice things for his lady – bringing flowers home, going to church, coming home early from a night with the boys – precisely because she doesn’t ask him to do so.  He’s not nagged or coerced into it, so he does it freely and openly because he wants to.

That’s a great analogy for dieting.  We always rebel against what we’re forced to do.  If our parents told us we couldn’t eat something, most likely we’d sneak it in somehow.  I sure did.  My dad was very restrictive with my food, and I would sneak stuff all the time.  (Twinkies were my favorite!)  The situation went beyond food and became a battle of wills… a way for me to establish myself a viable person who had the right to make her own choices.

My mum had a mild weight problem when she was a teenager that grew through her adult life.  Her parents, particularly her dad, would alternately berate her or offer her incentives like money to eat less and exercise more.  Even at a $1 a pound, it never worked.  She fought every step of the way, and in the end, kept gaining weight, becoming progressively more sedentary as an adult.  Her parents’ tough tactics resulted in the exact opposite of the behavior they were seeking.

I’ve learned over the years that the only way a lifestyle change is going to last is if it’s truly what you want to do.  No one can scare, bully, or bribe you into it.  That may work for a time, but you’ll revert to your old ways eventually.  The daily discipline of a diet-and-exercise plan requires an internal commitment that no one can mandate.

So, the old adage is true: if you’re going to do it, do it for you.  That’s the only way it’ll last.

Writing My Autobiography Thru Eating

Yet again, the fiscal and physical worlds overlap. Clever Dude’s post “Writing Your Autobiography Through Spending” details how every time you write a check or use your credit card, you are writing your autobiography.

“Recall how you spent your money through the years and you’ll probably be able to match up the stuff you bought with what you were going through in your life at the time.”

I am writing my autobiography through eating and exercise. Every food or workout choice I make is directly related to where I’m at in my life. When I look back through old food journals, I know exactly what was happening at that time.

• If I note that I did 45 minutes on the VersaClimber, I recall that I was living with friends after my divorce and going to the 24 Hour Fitness on Cheyenne, probably feeling somewhat down but trying to stay on track with my lifestyle change.

• If I list Jack in the Box jalapeno poppers, I remember that was I stressed out from the challenges of online dating. 

• If I list grape tomatoes and apples every day, I know it’s a recent entry because I’m in my clean-eating phase, feeling good about myself and my health and trying to take things to the next level.

Think about how you’re writing your autobiography through eating and exercise.

• Do you like the story you’re writing?

• If not, how would you change it?

Spend some time considering that, and you may find that, when you look back next year, you’ll have been eating and doing some unexpected things.

What If?

“What if it were easy to get what you think you really want?”

Charlotte’s post on The Great Fitness Experiment continues with:

“What if you were your goal weight or size? Would being a size zero (or whatever) make you any happier than you are now? Would it change who you are?”

The obvious answer seems to be an emphatic “Yes! Of course!”, but it’s not that easy. I’ve been struggling lately with happiness with whom I am and where I’m at now. I have achieved SO much. Losing 114 pounds is transformative, revolutionary, life-altering. And, yet, I’m still me with all my Fat Girl hang-ups and even some hang-ups that have nothing to do with my weight.

For me, the answer to these questions is “yes” and “no”. Yes, I am happier being a fit size 6 than I was as an out-of-shape 22/24. I am confident and relaxed when I meet people because I’m not worried about them judging me on my size or my looks. I’m physically confident, too, which means I’m open to new activities that present themselves. I know what my body can do, and I’m not afraid to try something different. The best part, though, is that the real me – happy, fun, excited to experience life and all its adventures – shines through more readily now.

No, I’m not happier in that I continue to tussle with my self-esteem overall. The sense of being defective merchandise lingers. There are a lot of “yes, but”s – “yes, I’ve lost all this weight, but I still don’t look great naked”… “yes, I have amazing diet-and-exercise discipline, but I’m not eating enough vegetables or doing enough weight training.” Sometimes it feels like it’s never enough, like I will never be able to do enough to make myself okay.

I’ve come to the conclusion that this is just part of the journey. We are not living in a TV show; our problems are not resolved in 60 minutes (or 40 without commercials!). Our roads wind and twist and turn back on themselves before moving us further along to our destinations.

The one thing I know for sure is that I’d rather be walking this road at the size and fitness level I am now. I know I can tackle whatever challenges lie ahead and look pretty good doing it! J

Size Acceptance

I was catapulted back to my fat acceptance days when I read “In the Fatosphere, Big Is In, or at Least Accepted“. My official introduction to the fat acceptance movement began when I became a member of NAAFA, the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance, but I had actually started my FA journey well before then.

During my last two years of high school, I had decided I was always going to be fat and that, rather than fighting it and feeling bad about myself, I would celebrate myself in all my rotund glory. I wore funky clothes and generally enjoyed myself in spite of the ostracism from the “in” crowd.

In college, I felt the pressure of living with “healthy”, thin roommates and lost about 40 pounds in the first couple of years of my college career. Then, I revolted in my last year (I graduated in three years instead of the usual four) and put the weight back on. After graduating, I again decided fat was it for me, and I was gonna work it for all it was worth.

Doing that solo was tough at times, so NAAFA was like a breath of fresh air. It was a group of like-minded people who understood the self loathing and discrimination as well as the challenges of finding attractive clothing or a mate. It was through NAAFA that I learned about fat activists, those who vehemently spoke out against the medical establishment, contradicting much of the common wisdom that overweight equals ill health.

Blogging has given fat activists another voice, but the message is still the same as it was in earlier days. “The message from the fatosphere is not just that big is beautiful. Many of the bloggers dismiss the “obesity epidemic” as hysteria. They argue that Americans are not that much larger than they used to be and that being fat in and of itself is not necessarily bad for you.”

Reading the article was bittersweet. Having witnessed my ex-husband’s decline, I know that obesity – in many cases – is serious and has life threatening implications. That’s why I made my lifestyle change. But, I still believe we need to feel good about ourselves and not be abused by others because we don’t meet a physical ideal.

I wonder, though, have I conceded to the establishment by losing 114 pounds and focusing so much on eating and exercise? Have I given in to American cult of thinness? Have I lost something important by no longer bucking the system in a concrete, tangible way? I don’t think so, but it gives me pause. And while I have no intention of giving up on my program, I feel a bit sad about dropping out of the fight for the rights of societal underdogs.

Zap Away Pounds?

Yikes! If we haven’t done enough to ourselves already in the name of losing weight – cutting our insides up or tying our organs off, wiring our jaws shut, taking pills that make us run to the bathroom every few minutes – there’s a new monster-movie technique on the horizon that claims to help us drop pounds: electricity.

MSNBC reports that, within a few years, we may be able to implant a pacemaker-like device that shoots a jolt of electricity to a key nerve that controls feelings of hunger and fullness.

“A St. Paul, Minn.-based company called EnteroMedics Inc. is testing an implantable device called Maestro that periodically blocks transmission on the digestion-controlling vagus nerve. Limited study data suggests it may trigger significant weight loss. A bigger, yearlong randomized study that’s enrolling over the next six months could put the company on track for U.S. approval in the middle of 2010, if things go well.”

The device will supposedly be safer than gastric bypass or banding surgeries and “could give weight loss surgeons a significant new tool.”

Never say never, but I am very skeptical about this idea. As I’ve said before, we know what to do to lose weight. We just don’t want to do it. It’s hard! It stinks sometimes! It requires day-in-day-out consistent behavior that’s generally not fun. The end result is fun, but getting there is frequently drudgery.

We want a magic pill or surgery or device to take care of it for us. But when we’ve tried these things, they don’t work nearly as well as we hope and, in some cases, they damage us irreparably for life. Or, with techniques like bypass surgery, they still require work on our end… work we often don’t do so we sabotage the jumpstart the technique gives us.

Let’s stop focusing on crazy ways to override the natural and appropriate functioning of our bodies and start teaching ourselves to eat less and exercise more. It’s not a fast or trendy technique, but it works.

Recipe for SSSSuccess

If you struggle with your weight, you’d probably love a full proof “recipe for weight loss success”, one that would guarantee you’d achieve your goal to lose 10, 20, 50 or 100 pounds. I know I would. Of course, this would be a philosophical “recipe”, not an actual one with foodstuffs you pick up at your local market.

When I ran across such a “recipe” on Lose Two Pounds a Week, I started thinking about what my “recipe” would consist of, based on the trial and error of five years’ work. Here are my ingredients and directions.

Sassy Sexy Shapely Recipe for Lasting Weight Loss

Ingredients

1.  ¼ cup inspiration (you don’t need much if it’s high quality!)
2.  1 cup of customization
3.  2 cups of implementation
4.  1 cup of movement
5.  3 cups of sticktoitiveness
6.  1 ½ cups of celebration

Directions

1. Let ¼ cup inspiration sit a moment before mixing in the 1 ½ cups of customization.

It’s important to really understand why you’re starting this lifestyle change, which is why you need some time to reflect. A reasonable amount of customization is important because you need to find the plan that’s going to work for you. Think about your interests and schedule and what matters to you most. Then research the plans out there and find the one that best fits your life.

2. Add 2 cups of implementation. This is where you apply what you’ve learned from customizing a plan for yourself. Start implementing your unique plan. Clean out your pantry and restock it with healthy foods. Buy a food journal and start tracking what you eat every day. Weigh yourself once a week to chart your progress.

3. Stir in 1 cup of movement. Any movement will do as long as you do it on a regular basis. Generally, 3 days a week is a good guideline.

4. The 3 cups of sticktoitiveness are critical to the success of this recipe. You’re going to need a lot of perseverance to stay on course day-in and day-out. It’s a grind sometimes, and sticktoitiveness is often the only way to get through.

5. Be sure to add in 1 ½ cups of celebration a various intervals. Do something nice for yourself when you achieve a milestone or even when you just hold steady during a difficult period. You’re working hard, and you deserve to celebrate your achievements!

What is your recipe for weight loss success?

Sticktoitiveness

Want to lose weight and keep it off for good? I’ve said it before: it’s simple, but it sure isn’t easy. We all know what we need to do: take in fewer calories than we expend. That can be done by eating less than we burn or by burning more calories than we take in or a combination of both. The combination technique is ideal because it minimizes the pain associated with the changes by spreading them out. You’re eating less but not too much; you’re exercising more but not too much.

For most of us, getting started with losing weight is not hard. We pick our diet, throw out the “bad” foods, stock up on the “good” foods, and we’re off! The first couple of weeks are exhilarating as we enjoy the excitement of starting something new and rewarding. Plus, weight typically comes off fairly quickly in the beginning as the body reacts to the shock of the change.

However, right around the third week, momentum frequently wanes. Our bodies have started to adjust. The thrill of starting down the road to the “new and improved you” wears off. We’re left with the day-in, day-out, not-so-fun regimen of eating less and exercising more.

That’s where ‘sticktoitiveness’ comes in. What is ‘sticktoitiveness’? According to dictionary.com, it’s defined as “dogged perseverance; resolute tenacity.” Ugh! Sounds rather unpleasant, doesn’t it? Well, when you get right down to it, it is somewhat unpleasant. It’s not fun to have to limit your food intake when you really want that piece of chocolate cake or to exercise when you just want to cozy up with a good book. When you don’t feel like doing something, it’s hard to motivate yourself. That’s where the tenacity comes in.

I know whereof I write. I have lost 114 pounds through day-in, day-out ‘sticktoitiveness’. It took me four very long years to lose 100 pounds and then another year to lose 14 more, but I did it. I lost the weight while going through a painful divorce, while living with others for nearly a year, while changing jobs three times, and while having to replace my car three times. They have been five crazy, challenging years, and the only thing that kept me heading towards my weight loss goal was ‘sticktoitiveness’.

My ‘dogged perseverance’ took a couple of different forms, and these are methods I continue to use to this day to maintain my loss. I weigh myself daily and record it. I keep a daily food journal and write down absolutely everything I consume, including vitamins. (Did you know that vitamins and supplements can contain a significant number of calories? Read your labels.) I exercise five days a week, and I write that down, too. I’m flexible, though, with my exercise. If I’m not feeling up to doing cardio, then I’ll do a strength workout or a Pilates DVD. As long as I do something physical, I am achieving my goal.

I also keep a “Yay!” book. It’s my way of congratulating myself as I progress toward my goal. Each evening, I write down the things I’ve done well that day, whether it’s drinking 3 cups of green tea or refusing a slice of birthday cake at work. It’s a means of recognizing the baby steps. Losing a pound or two isn’t going to result in a shopping spree for smaller clothes, so the “Yay!” book celebrates the little achievements that lead to big milestones.

When I’m challenged to stay on track, I remind myself of how far I’ve come and focus on only the day in front of me. I don’t overwhelm myself with the weeks and months ahead. When I fall off the wagon, so to speak, I start the next day fresh as though nothing happened the day before.

‘Sticktoitiveness’ isn’t sexy. It’s not a magic bullet. But, if you practice it, it will get the job done, and you will lose weight and keep it off.

Personal Responsibility

As the obesity crisis grows, more and more Americans want to get to the bottom of why our collective waistlines continue to expand. We are well educated about the principles of weight management and fitness, and yet we keep getting fatter. Many fault external forces for the problem.

An article in the December 2007 issue of Scientific American Body, titled The Skinny on the Environment, discusses how our current urban environments are not conducive to getting people out of their cars and moving their bodies. There’s a lack of parks and bicycle paths. Residential areas are separated from commercial areas, so people drive, rather than walking or biking. Advocates for healthy built environments want to see governmental support to communities, in both legislation and dollars, for new bike lanes, pathways, sidewalks, and education and promotion campaigns.

In August, an article called How Friends Make You Fat advised us that, according to the New England Journal of Medicine, “obesity is a contagion you catch from your friends”. The premise was that “good friends enable all manner of bad habits…”.

And today the Mayor of Oklahoma City, the 15th fattest city according to a survey by Men’s Fitness magazine, has issued a directive to his citizens to lose 1 million pounds as their New Year’s resolution. Echoing the sentiment in the Scientific American Body article, Mayor Cornett “wants to make exercise more attractive to residents by increasing the number of bike trails and sidewalks in the sprawling city, where public transportation is minimal, most people are wedded to their cars and outdoor activities for some might be limited to watching a football game.”

I personally love the ideas in The Skinny on the Environment, and anything leaders like Mayor Cornett can do to make it easier to exercise is much appreciated. I’m someone who takes advantage of resources like that. For example, at my work, there is a small park right outside the front door that includes a fitness course with pull-up bars, stretching stations, and other fitness stations. I have used the course a couple of times this winter and plan to use it more as the weather warms up.  For me it’s a perk of my job. Unfortunately, I haven’t seen anyone else out there, walking through the park or using the stations.

To me these proposals and theories have become excuses for us to avoid taking personal responsibility for ourselves.

As wonderful as they would be, we don’t need healthy built environments to help us exercise. We can do DVDs at home; we can park further away; we can take the stairs at work; we can do push-ups or sit-ups during TV commercial breaks.

While it’s true that “oftentimes people do choose friends with kindred vices”, I heartily disagree with the notion that your friends make you fat. In my circle of friends, many are overweight, and most of them don’t work out. Yet I’ve continued to lose weight and get healthier over the five years I’ve associated with these people.

In fact, I started my Weight Watchers program with three co-workers. Of the four of us, two of us continued to lose and kept off the weight. The other two gained back what they lost initially and more. Two of us decided that we would continue no matter what our friends were doing.

And that’s still what I do today. I follow the plan that’s right for me, regardless of what my friends are doing. They respect that. They do their thing; I do mine, and it’s all good. Sure, it’s hard sometimes, but I do it. It can be done. You just have to decide that you – and you alone – determine how you act.

By all means, take advantage of the resources that are available to you. But don’t let a lack of resources keep you from reaching your goals.

Your assignment…

• Think of all the ways you allow outside influences to derail you, not just in eating and exercise but in spending, hobbies, leisure activities, etc. Think about the external forces you “blame” for not achieving your diet and fitness goals.

• Think about specific peer- or environment-challenging situations and consider how you can handle them differently the next time they arise.

• Make one change every time you’re presented with one of these situations. For example, skip the fries and get fruit the next time you’re out with a friend. Or, take the stairs when they take the elevator, telling them you’ll catch up around the water cooler later. Or, park further away from the store the next time you have to pick something up.

• If you’re with someone, note how they respond. More importantly, every time you make a change, note how you feel when you do what’s right for you.