Old Phobias Die Hard

January 30, 2008 at 2:46 pm 1 comment

Today I see a new doctor.  I changed jobs in October, and my health insurance just kicked in.  Naturally, when I signed up for the HMO, I checked to see if my current doc was in their directory.  She was.  Unfortunately, in the couple of months since I signed up, my HMO has cancelled the contract with my doc’s medical center.  Hence… the new doc.

I’ve always hated going to the doctor.  The scale was my nemesis.  I dreaded having to get on it and be confronted by my weight.  I feared the reaction of the nurses prepping me for my appointments, but in reality, they never said anything bad when they read the numbers.  Many of them were overweight themselves.  Sometimes the doc didn’t say anything either, but “obesity” was always checked off on the sheet as one of my diagnoses.

Last night I woke up in a panic about trying to explain to my new doc how much weight I’ve lost and how far I’ve come.  I was worried that my weight might be up a couple of pounds.  Would she look at me, still see a “round” girl and assume I was unhealthy?

You’d think I wouldn’t worry about that anymore.  I am no longer Fat Girl.  I’ve lost 114 pounds after all, and my BMI is normal.  I work out regularly and eat fairly well.  I have no reason to fear the scale now.  

I still had to talk myself through it, though, before I could finally calm down and go back to sleep.  Old phobias die hard.

Entry filed under: coping strategies, self image. Tags: , , , , , , , .

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1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Scared of the Scale « Sassy Sexy Shapely  |  March 1, 2008 at 5:22 pm

    […] March 1, 2008 I hated being weighed at the doctor’s office, so much so that for a long time I would avoid medical visits unless absolutely necessary. Once I learned that I could refuse being weighed, I was more comfortable making appointments. And, now I’m fine with it, although, as I have blogged previously, residual fear remains. […]

    Reply

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