Feeling Down

April 10, 2008 at 6:19 am Leave a comment

It’s been very busy lately, personally and professionally, and I’m so tired.  Maybe that’s why I’m feeling especially down, especially frustrated by my “problem”… by the constant fight not to overeat.  Does it ever go away?  It doesn’t seem to.

I just want to eat and eat and eat some more, particularly when I’m fatigued and overwhelmed.  I can’t let that happen.  The thought of reverting to my old ways terrifies me.  Thank goodness it does, or I might very well surrender and chow down with wild abandon for weeks on end.  I don’t want to go back, though.  It sounds good in theory, but it wasn’t good in reality.  The comfort that behavior provided was fleeting at best.

I will keep on keepin’ on, and not every day is a terrible struggle.  A lot of days are, though, and I wish they weren’t.  I wish I could be one of those women who doesn’t care about food, doesn’t particuarly need it one way or the other, who can sit with others at dinner and not eye their plates with covert longing. 

I want the battle to stop, but I worry that it’s not possible for me.  I worry that my internal workings won’t allow it.  Food is my issue, and I guess it always will be.  Too bad there can’t be a truce now and then.  I could use a break.

Entry filed under: about me, coping strategies. Tags: .

One more reason to skip the Chex Mix! Don’t Recline: Decline!

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