Six Years Ago

September 1, 2008 at 7:17 pm Leave a comment

Six years ago this month, I started my lifestyle change by attending my first Weight Watchers meeting with three friends from work.  I also started exercising, doing videos in the storage room at my work on my lunch hour.  Wow… I almost can’t believe it’s been that long.  I have now lost 120 pounds.  I’ve lost and gained much more than just pounds and muscle tone, though.  How to put it in words?

I recently took my BF back home with me for a visit.  I hadn’t seen my family in three years, and they were amazed at my transformation.  Not so much with my smaller size but my spirit.  My mother told me that my ex-husband wouldn’t recognize me now, and not because my hair is dark and I’m slimmer.  She saw a freedom, a happiness, in me she said she hasn’t seen in decades.  Her heart was filled with joy over it.  And, my dad, who’s not big on throwing out praise, said I was the most self-confident and comfortable in my own skin than he’s ever seen me.  That’s BIG.  He wrote that to me in an e-mail, and I’ve been re-reading it regularly to really absorb it. 

(Of course, the change my folks saw in me is not only because I’ve lost weight, am eating healthfully and exercising; it has a whole lot to do with my relationship with my BF.  But I know for sure I would not be in this relationship if I had not started down that transformational path six years ago.)

It’s often hard for us to truly recognize our accomplishments, to appreciate the magnitude of what we’ve achieved.  I am always looking forward, thinking about what else I should or could be doing to make my life extraordinary.  There’s nothing wrong with that; I think it’s a great way to live life.  But, at the same time, it’s critical to embrace our successes with more than just lip service. 

In the last three weeks, I’ve also undergone a very literal transformation that not everyone in my life knows about.  I’m extremely glad to have gone forward with this transformation; it’s the culmination of all my hard work.  I have had mixed feelings about it, so I’ve chosen to share it judiciously.  However, it’s given me lots of time to pause, to think about what these past six years have meant and where I go from here.

This literal transformation has also deepened my relationship with my BF.  He has done things for me these last few weeks that I’ve only dreamed of having a man do; I have learned that I can truly count on him, that we are really partners… and that we genuinely relish being together, even 24/7 for days at a time.  How amazingly wonderful is that?!?! 

So, this month, I’m spending some time thinking back, remembering more than just the sound bite that I give people now when they learn how much weight I’ve lost.  I’m going back over what got me started, what it took to stay the course, what I’ve discovered about myself (and others) in the process.  This is going to be a transitional month, I believe.  I’m excited to start the next phase of this journey!

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Entry filed under: about me, relationships, self image.

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