Back home… sort of

October 6, 2008 at 2:26 am 1 comment

After flooding twice, my condo required mold remediation and drywall repair and painting.  I couldn’t stay there while the mold was being handled, so I spent nearly a week in a hotel.  That might sound like fun, but it really wasn’t.  I tried to make it an adventure, and of course, having my BF stay with me helped.  But, I felt discombobulated and unsettled and was generally pretty fussy… at least inwardly.  (I think I hid it fairly well from the outside world.) 

Thankfully, I got clearance this weekend to return to my condo, even though repairs are still ongoing.  Most of place is in disarray with only the bedroom being habitable… and only just barely so because all my stuff has been piled into it.  I still don’t have access to a kitchen because that has to be repaired as well, but it still feels so good to be back home.  I’ve been very surprised how disruptive the situation has been and how extreme my reaction to it has been.  I’ve been terribly bummed out by it, especially trying to manage my eating.  I went nearly a week without a scale, and of course, that put me into a bit of a panic.  Happily, my weight is okay… right on track, and I’m reminded yet again that I’m better at managing these eating challenges than I give myself credit for.  Nonetheless, I am struggling with the urge to overeat in order to relax while my living conditions are in disarray.  Eating as a coping mechanism is so entrenched in me.  It has gotten better, but it’s still quite powerful.

As always, with stressful events in my life, it’s one day at a time and a lot of celebrating the small achievements.  I’m tired of dealing with it, though.  I want it to go away.  I want to be unflappable in the face of life’s rollercoaster and not have to fight the desire to binge to calm down.  Not an option for me, apparently.

So, what did I do to keep my eating within reasonable limits?  I brought some Kashi GO LEAN cereal and protein shakes with me to the hotel.  I bought healthy stuff from the cafeteria at work like Kashi GO LEAN bars and the salar bar, using fat-free Italian dressing (only 20 calories per packet!) and limiting my protein to a few garbanzo beans.  At night, I ordered what I wanted from the hotel restaurant, but I avoided the sides or things I didn’t truly crave.  One night, I really wanted chips and salsa, so I ate only that at the Mexican restaurant.  My BF ordered dinner, but I had only the chips and salsa.  It wasn’t low calorie or even nutritionally balanced, but it was better than dumping more calories on my system that I didn’t particularly want.  I also avoided dessert and only bought Nutrigrain bars at the gift shop.  It was hard, but it worked… and I still managed to enjoy a couple of treats.

Now I’m home where I have a little more control, which helps.  I am still fighting the very strong urge to overeat, but hopefully it’ll diminish as the repairs progress this week.


Entry filed under: coping strategies, tips & techniques.

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1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Juliet  |  October 7, 2008 at 5:10 am

    Sorry about all the work you have to do. Sounds like you are making good eating decisions though (can’t go wrong with kashi). Make sure you are rewarding yourself for handling everything so well. Maybe you deserve a massage or a mani/pedi or something else you might love? 🙂


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