Posts filed under ‘relationships’

He’s lost 30 pounds! Kudos to my BF!

My BF has aspirations of becoming a pilot, so back in July, he started watching what he was eating in order to drop a few pounds.  Since then, he’s lost 30 pounds.  Yay!  Bravo to my Honey!! 

He’s been a bit frustrated by the slow pace (and I can relate to that!), but I think he’s right on track.  First of all, weight that’s taken off slowly stays off.  And, because he travels so much, he’s constantly challenged by fatigue, work dinners and trying to find healthy food at the last minute.  He has done very well dealing with all of these challenges, and I know he’ll reach his goal.

Then, he’ll become a pilot and whisk us around the country.  When he does, I’ll be sure to pack lots of healthy, travel-friendly stuff for us so neither of us has to worry about our diet plans.  J

November 12, 2008 at 2:07 pm 1 comment

Six Years Ago

Six years ago this month, I started my lifestyle change by attending my first Weight Watchers meeting with three friends from work.  I also started exercising, doing videos in the storage room at my work on my lunch hour.  Wow… I almost can’t believe it’s been that long.  I have now lost 120 pounds.  I’ve lost and gained much more than just pounds and muscle tone, though.  How to put it in words?

I recently took my BF back home with me for a visit.  I hadn’t seen my family in three years, and they were amazed at my transformation.  Not so much with my smaller size but my spirit.  My mother told me that my ex-husband wouldn’t recognize me now, and not because my hair is dark and I’m slimmer.  She saw a freedom, a happiness, in me she said she hasn’t seen in decades.  Her heart was filled with joy over it.  And, my dad, who’s not big on throwing out praise, said I was the most self-confident and comfortable in my own skin than he’s ever seen me.  That’s BIG.  He wrote that to me in an e-mail, and I’ve been re-reading it regularly to really absorb it. 

(Of course, the change my folks saw in me is not only because I’ve lost weight, am eating healthfully and exercising; it has a whole lot to do with my relationship with my BF.  But I know for sure I would not be in this relationship if I had not started down that transformational path six years ago.)

It’s often hard for us to truly recognize our accomplishments, to appreciate the magnitude of what we’ve achieved.  I am always looking forward, thinking about what else I should or could be doing to make my life extraordinary.  There’s nothing wrong with that; I think it’s a great way to live life.  But, at the same time, it’s critical to embrace our successes with more than just lip service. 

In the last three weeks, I’ve also undergone a very literal transformation that not everyone in my life knows about.  I’m extremely glad to have gone forward with this transformation; it’s the culmination of all my hard work.  I have had mixed feelings about it, so I’ve chosen to share it judiciously.  However, it’s given me lots of time to pause, to think about what these past six years have meant and where I go from here.

This literal transformation has also deepened my relationship with my BF.  He has done things for me these last few weeks that I’ve only dreamed of having a man do; I have learned that I can truly count on him, that we are really partners… and that we genuinely relish being together, even 24/7 for days at a time.  How amazingly wonderful is that?!?! 

So, this month, I’m spending some time thinking back, remembering more than just the sound bite that I give people now when they learn how much weight I’ve lost.  I’m going back over what got me started, what it took to stay the course, what I’ve discovered about myself (and others) in the process.  This is going to be a transitional month, I believe.  I’m excited to start the next phase of this journey!

September 1, 2008 at 7:17 pm Leave a comment

A new low!

After several weeks of being 3 to 5 pounds off my weight loss goal, I today dropped to another new low: 118 pounds gone!  Now, a pound isn’t all that much in the scheme of things, especially because weight can fluctuate rather dramatically.  But, for me, it’s a significant accomplishment because I’ve been fighting those couple extra pounds for so long and have finally gotten back on track.  Yay!

And even more good news… after reducing his calorie intake for about three weeks, my BF has lost 9 pounds!  Bravo!!  I’m so proud of how he’s been diligently keeping track of his food, recording everything – and I do mean everything – in his PDA and modifying his choices based on how many calories he has left. 

It’s been great to be with him at the beginning of this journey, and I’m very excited for the road ahead for both of us.  He bought a Wii, and we’ve been working out with it, using the sports modules: boxing, tennis, baseball, bowling and golf.  I’ve continued to do my stairs, the Cardio X, use the pull-up bar, and do my weights workout.  We’ve also been doing yoga together.  Adding the Wii to the mix has been lots of fun for me, and he really likes it, too… which means he’ll be that much more inclined to stick with it.  He’s trying to track down a Wii Fit but hasn’t had any success yet.  He’s committed, though, so I know we’ll have one soon!

The best part is that we are sharing something fundamental with each other that will make our lives better.  I’ve always wanted to have that with my significant other, and now I do!  J

July 19, 2008 at 8:29 pm Leave a comment

Analysis of a Binge

Last night, fatigue and the emotion my trip caught up with me.  Instead of eating a healthy, nutrient-rich dinner, I binged on Kashi, ZBars, beef jerky and reduced-fat shredded cheese while reading the latest book by one of my favorite mystery writers.  Granted, it wasn’t a fat-filled fast-food fest, but it was still pretty bad, especially for me.  Just because most of the stuff I was eating was high quality and ostensibly good for me, the quantities were WAY too great, and the balance of nutrients was completely off. 

Why did it feel better to me to eat like that rather than taking care of myself by warming some of the HEALTHY VISION veggies I love in the microwave and mixing them with fat-free cheese and diced chicken breast?

One reason is that I got too hungry, and it overtook me when I got to the store to pick up bottled water.  I grabbed a 100-calorie pack of beef jerky in the checkout line.  Not a bad way to deal with hunger in the grocery store, actually, until one pack leads to three and the munching continues at home with ZBars.  Why didn’t I stop then and make the veggie meal I love?  It’s fast, but it’s not instantaneous the way ZBars are, and the nosh machine was already revved up.

Note to self: go home and go back out for the water next time.

The other reason, I suspect, was purely emotional.  My trip back home was really intense.  I hadn’t seen my parents in three years.  They had both been through a lot in that time.  My dad had lost the love of his life when she died of a brain tumor, and he’d gone through a rough patch before discovering his new lady.  My mum had spent the better part of a year in the hospital, fighting for her life.  She’s doing very well now, but it’s been an uphill struggle.  Add to that the nervewracking introduction of a new boyfriend to my family, and it’s not surprising that the visit was, to borrow a 60s phrase, “heavy”.

Well, now that I know what caused it, will I avoid doing it again in the future?  Yes… but not every time.  I already avoid bingeing or overeating in response to stress much more than I ever did before.  It’s a process.  I’m getting better and better at it, but I don’t think I’ll ever be perfect.  I don’t think anyone’s ever perfect with these types of things.  If they don’t binge, they do something else.  My goal is to continue to improve but to be kind to myself when I mess up. 

The good news is that today is a new day, and I’m starting fresh.  I’m back in my own space; I’ve rested.  I’m ready to receive what the day has to bring with an open, peaceful mind and a big bowl of carrots & celery.  J

July 8, 2008 at 2:06 pm Leave a comment

We’re back!

My BF and I just got back from a trip to the opposite coast to see/meet my folks.  It was a whirlwind adventure as usual, a four-day jaunt that was wonderfully emotional and exciting.

We brought the Greens to Go, single-serving cups of Kashi and the always-fabulous ZBars, but we still faced some eating challenges.  All in all, I think we did pretty well.  My BF went a little more “off the wagon” than I did, but he still kept track of everything he ate in his PDA using the software he’s been working with for about 2 weeks now.  I ate fresh fruit (in small amounts) and fresh veggies (in generous quantities) every day, focusing on high quality protein like eggwhites, skipping starches and drinking black tea and water.  I did, however,  indulge myself in a special treat or two.  I accounted for it all as best I could in my food journal, but I think I still overate.  When you’re playing the restaurant game, it’s hard to tell exactly how much you’re consuming.  Didn’t get too much exercise other than walking around.

I did try some nifty new items like raw “chips and dip”, raw chocolate mousse, and asparagus fries.  I’ll be posting pics and details soon. 

The best part of the whole thing was seeing my folks after three years away and having them meet my amazingly terrific BF.  They really enjoyed him and commented on the “good vibes” between us.  I was so proud and happy to have them get to know him in person, rather than just over the phone or through my descriptions.  We did a bit of sight seeing, but it was primarily about family, and at the end of the day, that’s what matters the most.

July 7, 2008 at 7:35 am 1 comment

Birthday Reflections

Birthday Reflections Today is my birthday.  As many of us do when a birthday arrives, I’ve been thinking about where I am in my life, at this age.  Excitingly enough, my life is the best it’s ever been.

  • I’m the smallest/lightest I’ve ever been as an adult, wearing a size 4/6.
  • I’m in the best shape I’ve ever been in, getting in four to six days of cardio and two sessions of weight training consistently every week.

Even though it makes sense to list these things first because of the blog’s subject, it still seems like I’m giving them too much importance.  But, the fact is, they are important.  For me, losing weight and exercising has not been about vanity, although appearance has played a role.  These accomplishments are the result of me taking charge of my health and wellbeing… watching the physical deterioration of people I loved and deciding to do everything I could to keep that from happening to me.  They represent years – literally, years – of persistence and commitment through really tough personal challenges.  They represent starting over again, time and after time, because I was unwilling to give up in spite of how hard it was… and how hard it continues to be.  This says a lot about how I feel about myself and my ability to stick to it, whatever “it’ may be. 

  • I have wonderful boyfriend to share my life with.

Wow!  This truly is incredible.  As my marriage went south, I began to doubt that a quality relationship was in the cards for me.  The divorce and subsequent dating misadventures reinforced the doubt.  And, yet, here I am, a year and a half into an amazing experience that’s blossoming into a genuine partnership.  We had some ups and downs at the beginning, but we overcame those to start again with an appreciation for what we both bring to the table.  We continue to get better as we go along.  It’s beyond cool.

  • I have a terrific job that is intense, exhausting and exhilarating all at the same time.

My new gig has taken me in an unexpected direction and is a daily learning experience.  Plus, I am finally back to the salary level I was before I relocated here, actually a little bit more.  Not to mention the excellent retirement benefits.  Woohoo!

  • I remain blessed with a fabulous family and fantastic friends.
  • I am the proud of owner of The Best Cat on the Planet.
  • I live in a spacious condo which I’ve been able to fill with my own original artwork. Even better, it’s on the second floor, so I get at least an additional set of stairs in every day!  🙂

Happy Birthday to me, and a giant “thank you” for all the blessings I enjoy every day!

May 26, 2008 at 4:25 am 1 comment

Must Reads

These two articles really resonated with me.  I hope you find them as insightful as I did.

Are you too obsessed with the scale? by Margarita Bertsos

Powerful Paragraph:

“This weekend, when I got on the scale and discovered I’d gained a few pounds, I had a moment of sheer panic–panic that I will never reach my goal, that I’ll never get the body I want and that I’d let all of you down who’ve been reading about my journey. After 24 hours of sulking (and washing it down with far too many servings of frozen yogurt), I force-fed myself a major reality check: I am NOT perfect. And being a shape-up blogger does not require that I am. I will have days when I dip into the office peanut-butter cups far too many times; and days when I’ll have no good reason not to go to the gym and yet I still won’t get there; and moments of thinking (irrationally) that, just because I put back on a few pounds, all of the progress I’ve made so far means nothing. I’ve got to cut myself some slack to do and feel all of these things–and then I’ve got to get back on the shape-up horse and move forward!”

Body of Work: Weight-loss surgery is the easy way out  by Anne Fitzgerald

Powerful Paragraph:

“I took the easy way out, after all. It was too hard to love myself at 300 pounds. I wasn’t healthy, sure, and I needed to be lighter for my knees, my heart, my blood sugar–but I also bought into everything that told me I was ugly, unpleasant to look at, not good enough. It’s still frequently difficult to love myself at 140 pounds, to tell you the truth–nobody is immune to self-esteem issues, to insecurity and doubt, and it’s not fair to suggest that a thin person is not allowed to feel as uncomfortable in her body as a fat person. They’re just as subject to the pictures of flawless, Photoshopped bodies and taut thighs and sculpted abs maybe they’ll never have. But it is entirely fair to suggest that they sure have it easier, in a million tiny ways.”

May 23, 2008 at 1:05 am Leave a comment

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